Dowry in India

London - my lonely room


(Names, places has been changed to hide the identity)

Today I am here to talk about one of the most talked topic during this festive season of marriages. Albeit it is the nrgative part but turning a blind eye is not a solution to any problem.

Yesterday I got a news that the wedding of my cousin sister Neha(names changed) which was supposd to be on Dec 3rd next week is being called off. Now I do not should I be happy or be sad. I chose to be happy and proud of sister and uncle's decision.

The previous week it was the wedding of Neha's brother's. Our family does not demand any dowry. It was a humble wedding from so called "Dowry Standard of India". I felt happy as we did not demand anything and the girl's father did what he thought best for his capacity.

After this Neha's fiance asked her about the marriage and was keen interest in knowing how much dowry received. She replied what was the real situation. On hearing this the boy's attitude changed. He started saying that in his society it is a matter of disgrace if somebody receives less dowry and he is expecting a hefty amount as Neha is the lone girl child in her family and similar other thoughts followed showing clear intention of dowry demand.

On hearing this Neha informed my uncle about the latest development in the relation. On that my uncle argued and then finally called of the engagement.

From a western perspective calling of the engagement is not a big deal but in case rural india it is.

I felt happy that Neha stood aginst his wishes and do not gave into his demands. If somebody before marriage asking for such things then he quite rightly demand the other things later on. On culmination of the marriage the lady get the tag of " divorcee" which is much worse.

I might sound bit socially ignorant but use to think that these stories are cooked up by the media and bears no resemblance with the reality. But seeing first hand realised it is not just mare cooking up of the facts.

I want to ask the youth of India, when the god has given you two hands why you need to show infront of others. The real machoism is not in fighting with the street hooligan but real machoism comes here. Your two hands and you brain is the biggest gift from the god. There is no limit onto the wealth generation. Trust yourself and will succeed. For how many days you can sustain on dowry money. I consider them the worst than a beggar.

At least beggar is outright open about it but so called gentleman hide behind the prosperity.

I wish there should be many more Nehas then only there is a hope in the future.

Bluemango